Saturday, November 10, 2007

Sad & Confused

I just read a post from one of the groups that I am on that waivers are being given to Large Families. I just don't understand the logic of it all. How could it be that a family with 6 or 7 children (or more) could get a waiver to bring another child into their family and my husband and I who only have 2 children but are only married 3 years can't ???????

I am not saying that parents with large families are not good parents. I would think they are stretch to their limits though. Just because we are not married 5 years, doesn't make us bad parents. My husband was married almost 18 years to his ex-wife. She decided that she didn't want to be married anymore.

We would love to adopt this one little boy that I first saw in April of this year. He was on this list for a while and I called about him. The woman in charge of the SN WC list told me that no one had called about him so far. Well over the next 6 months I called and e-mailed almost everyday. She would tell me the same thing each time I contacted her. "No one has ever called to look at his file but me, and there was nothing she could do for us". She would not even try to get us a waiver. Finally she stopped answering my calls and my e-mails. Well, needless to say, his file was sent back to the CCAA and I have no idea where he will turn up next. Not that it really matters anymore. No one will fight for us. No one will take a stand for the many families in my situation. They are all afraid that the CCAA will "punish" them for trying.

I think that we would be able to give this beautiful little boy a very good home. A safe, happy, healthy and loving home. Why won't anyone listen and take a stand? I would write the letter myself, but I was told it wouldn't be taken seriously. WHAT???????? How could a plea for a child's life not be taken seriously???? What is wrong with this picture? Someone please tell me.

Now, I know that I could go to another country and most likely we will. We are talking about Taiwan or Vietnam. Actually, there is a little boy in Vietnam right now that I am waiting to get his file. He is adorable and he needs a family. We could be that family. The problem is, I close my eyes and I see the little boy from China. I open my eyes and I see the little boy from China. I look at my children at the dinner table and I see the little boy from China sitting next to my son and daughter. I started shopping for Christmas presents for my kids and I see the little boy from China opening his presents next to my son and daughter on Christmas morning. When I tuck my kids in at night, I see the little boy from China waiting for me to tuck him in. I see the little boy from China everywhere I go, in everything I do, awake and asleep!!!!!

So, yes I could wait 2 years and go back to China, but the little boy who's face I can't erase from my mind most likely won't be available anymore. I have experienced heartache before and this is one that will last a lifetime for me.


lara said...

lisa that is so sad, over here in the UK its goverment run and we dont get the chance to look at waiting lists its not an option. I have been informed that by the time we get to do our homestudy we are still waiting !! and then we wait for referral hubby will be past the 55 age range so china is no longer an option for us.
I am truly upset about this and have now got to reasearch other options.
I hope that there really is a way that this little boy finds his way into your lives , is he on another list somewhere can you find him and hope that another angency will help you. Praying for you.

Jenni said...

That is just beyond sad. He could have had a loving family. I just don't understand it. So sorry.

Anonymous said...


You know that I feel your pain. I wish that there were something that we could do to make them see that we could provide these little ones so much love. Funny how they seem to think that it is better that they grow up without a family rather than have a less than "perfect" one.


Anonymous said...

Oh Lisa,

I am so sorry about this. It doesn't make any sense at all. I am so sorry for your heartache.


Isabella's Mommy & Daddy said...

My heart aches for you...
That is not right..
but I have come to the conclusion that we can not control anything that they do..
It makes me sooo sad...but we have to try to keep our chins up..

Ann said...

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I totally understand. We had inquired about a little girl in Washington a while ago, and the foster system knew there was a family in Florida that was very interested in her. NO ONE had inquired about her(we knew her foster mom), NO ONE was interested in her, but we were, we even had her picture up. But nothing came of it, I left messages with the system in WAshington, but no phone calls returned. We wanted her, we wanted to be her family. Without telling us they had to put her "up" to families in Washington, as if being far was a curse. We have learned that instead of allowing us to adopt her, or at least seriously consider us, they are now shuffling her from Foster home to Foster home. So I know your pain. I'm sorry!!

alison said...

Lisa...Thanks for sharing your pain. China is so frustrating right now. It's like a slap in the were 'good enough' to adopt LilyRose less than a year ago....but now your not 'good enough'???? These new rules just make no sense to me.

Anonymous said...

Awww heart just hurts so much for you. I am so very sorry and I so wish that there were something that I could do to change this for you. I am sending you lots of hugs & love,

Anonymous said...


Odemaris y Florencio said...

AWWWW, that is one those things in life that happen and you just don't know why.