MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS!!!!!!!

WE HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY HAPPY, HEALTHY NEW YEAR!!!!

Happy Halloween

I hope everyone enjoyed Halloween. I personally do not like this day. I never did and I guess I never will, but my kids sure did enjoy it. This was the first year that my son Joseph went Trick or Treating with his friends. He had a great time. LilyRose enjoyed it for like an hour and then said she was really tired and wanted to go home. Anthony finally took her to our friends house and she was as happy as could be. I hope you enjoy the pictures...

LilyRose's Birthday Party

Lily loves this show


Panda pj's



Lily loves to draw and color

we love to bowl

Can you tell we love Panda's

Happy 3rd Birthday

LilyRose had a birthday party on Saturday night with some family and some friends. The weather was really bad, so some did not make it. It turned out ok though and she got lots of nice presents. We will have another birthday party for her with more family on this coming Saturday.

Happy 3rd Birthday LilyRose

present from big brother Joseph


opening present from Godmother Aunt Gina



My first dollhouse from Aunt Gina

Happy Birthday LilyRose

LilyRose talking to cousins from Belgium

BEAUTIFUL LILYROSE

Joseph 1st day of school

LilyRose turns 3 today.

She woke up singing the Happy Birthday song. Last night her Godfather Uncle Joe took her to ChuckECheese and then out to a Chinese restaurant. Aunt Maryann said that she was the main attraction as all the wait staff stopped what they were doing to come over and talk with LilyRose. She had a good time.

Tonight we will have a cupcake with a candle to sing happy birthday to Lily as her daddy has to work late. We will be having a party for LilyRose this Saturday night with my mothers side of the family and next Saturday night with my fathers side of the family. With everyone together, it would be nuts. I wish I had a bigger house.

Well it is now almost 8pm and we just sang happy birthday to LilyRose and she opened her present from Godmother Aunt Gina and 1 from Joseph and 1 from mommy and daddy. The rest she will open on Saturday night when the family is here. LilyRose got a surprise phone call from our cousins from Belgium tonight. They stayed up late to make sure they got to talk with her. It was a great surprise for all of us. I have a few picture of Lily from tonight. I will post the ones I take on Saturday night. Stay tuned...

Pictures

Joe & his friend Vincent


LilyRose's Christening

Joe & Lily w/cousins from Belgium

Beautiful LilyRose

Reflections on the pass 6 months

I woke up this morning with thoughts of the last 6 months of my life and I really can't believe all that has happened. I have had some devastating things and some wonderful things happen and I am not sure if the good out weighs the bad. I am trying to figure it out.

January 2008 - This I thought was going to be a very good year for us. I think we all think this on New Year's Day. We had the best holidays, with LilyRose being here to celebrate and my brother being home from Iraq and my Niece's spending the first Christmas with us in a lot of years. We were going to bring our new son Jack home sometime this year and we couldn't wait. Then Monday, January 7th rolled around and I didn't know it yet but my life was about to take a turn for the worst. Anthony came home from work not feeling well. He had a sore throat. Fast forward to Friday January 11th. He woke up and his neck was 10 x's the normal size and his eyes were popping out of his head. Off to the ER. He told me everything was ok and that he would be home later that night. Ok, I feel better about it, so I drive my brother to the airport so that he could return to Iraq. I am consoling my niece's for the next 2 hours and I get the call that changed my life. "Your husband is 2 steps from death and he needs emergency surgery on his throat to save his life". I stumbled around in a fog for the next month. I couldn't believe what was happening, he's only 44 years old, super strong and I thought healthy. He works like crazy, gets up every morning at 4:30am and works sometimes until 8pm. Anthony can't be this sick, I think, but he was and it knocked the wind out of my sails for a long time. Now I have to deal with his ex-wife. There is no love lost there, trust me. I have had 5 years of hell with this woman and her kids. Well, their Anthony's kids too but... I will leave it at that. So anyway, my husband hasn't worked in over a month at this time and things are really bad here but she wants to know how she is going to get her child support. I am like, are you ^*$&! kidding me? My kids are 9 and 2 and your kids are almost 21 and 19. I won't get into anymore about that, but that brought January to a really, really bad end.

February 2008 - Anthony recovered better once he was home. We had our home study updated for Jack. We celebrated our 1 year "Gotcha Day" for LilyRose. I was running like crazy to get all of our stuff done for our Vietnam Adoption and I was thanking God that things were going better for us. I finally sold my dad's car which hurt me more then it should have. It helped to pay for some of Jack's adoption but I was really wishing my dad was around driving that old thing. I really needed him at this time in my life. Although we didn't really get along, he was great to talk to. He had a lot of insight and his advice (not taken most of the time) was always on the money. I really, really needed him at this point in time. Had our taxes done and we had to deal with the ex-wife again and his kids this time. February came to an end and it was just as bad as last month. When will I not have to deal with her again??????

March 2008 - This was a nice month for us. Jack turned 8 years old and LilyRose was finally Baptised. Joseph made the Travel All Star Baseball Team and he was super excited about it. We went to the FCC-LI CNY Party and had a great time. My niece's came with us and it was a great family day. We still didn't have a finger print appt. and that was freakin me out. But I had everything else done for our dossier. So we sent it on to Vietnam for translation and we were praying to get the I171H to send out too.

April 2008 - This was a super month for us. This is when we met Ayanna. My sweet, precious Ayanna. We also got our I171H and off to Vietnam it went. We ordered the new bedroom set for Joseph and Jack and things were great. Well not so great with LilyRose. She resented Ayanna and at first she loved having this little bundle of joy at the house. But as soon as she saw that mommy was holding and feeding and changing and bathing her, she didn't like it so much anymore. It was very hard and tiring and draining for me and for her. But I loved Ayanna so much it hurt. I knew that I would never be able to give this sweet baby up. I started to ask if there was any way for us to adopt her. Well, we all know how that turned out.

May 2008 - Well my cousin had her baby. Little Tate was born on May 1st. My brother ended his tour in Iraq and came home for good. Super happy time for my family. Then my Godson Jake made his First Holy Communion and I was invited. I had not seen Jake for something like 5 years. So I was super happy to be a part of his special day. We got our official referral for Jack Anthony and things could not be better. Joseph had tryouts for the Summer All Star Baseball team and the Soccer Travel Team. He made both teams. He really is my super jock. My niece made Confirmation and we were there to see it. That was very exciting for us. But one of the saddest days of my life was on May 23, when Ayanna went to another host family. OMG, my heart hurt so bad I wanted to die. I cried and cried for her and I am still crying for her. I won't ever forget her and she will always be my little Ayanna. I am crying just writing this.

June 2008 - My 2nd saddest day was when we got the call that we were no longer able to adopt Jack. His birth mother came and took him home. I will surly die now, I thought. My heart is in a million little pieces now and it will never fully recover. How does one deal with this pain. I am still trying to figure it out. Thank God for my family and friends. without them I have no idea where I would be right now. Although I have had some very weird comments on these past events that have me baffled, I still need the support of the rest of them to get me through this. What hurts me the most at this point is that my son Joseph will never be the same. I will never forget the look on his face when I told him Jack was no longer going to be his brother. I can't even describe it. My son, who only a few weeks ago was trying to heal my heart over Ayanna and telling me that he loved me and that soon we would have Jack to love and to hold, now needed me to heal his heart and to tell him that I loved him more then life itself. I can't even promise him that we will bring him a new brother because we don't know what we are doing right now. I need time to heal and to think about our next step. I just need peace. Well, we will get no peace until my husband is completely done with his ex-wife. What a weekend we had with her. She resents my daughter. Can you believe it? She blames my daughter because Anthony will stop paying child support for his 21 year old son soon. He is also trying to stop support for his 19 year old who he hasn't seen or talked to in 5 years and who has 2 jobs by the way. She thinks if my daughter is no longer here, he will continued to pay for his boys. So I told her to take a walk (I really told her something else, but this is a family blog lol) my daughter is here to stay. Now I have to say that June was a very crazy month for me personally. Tell me what you think of these events?!? In the beginning of June after finding out about Jack, i am driving home from my cousin's baby shower and some young guy (with his girlfriend in the car) cuts me off. So I blow y horn at him. Get this, he starts screaming and cursing at me like a mad man. He rips off his seat belt and is going absolutely crazy. I was laughing so hard that I think it freaked him out even more. So, now he starts to drive and every time I got close he would slam on his breaks. So I laid on my horn. He finally stops his car and gets out. My window is open at this time and he comes flying over and puts his whole upper body in my window. I am trying to get my seat belt off and the stupid thing locks on me. I can't move at all. I am trying to unbuckle it and I can't. This moron is spitting at me, cursing at me and I am trying to push him out of my car. In the meantime, all the cars behind me are blowing there horns telling us to move off to the side of the road. Can you believe it? If my husband or brother saw some guy hanging in a girls car and she is alone they would be out in a minute helping her. I was not so lucky. I told his girlfriend through her window to run for the hills because if she didn't she would be dead within the year. She wouldn't even look my way. He took off and I couldn't get his plate number. Everyone keeps asking me what I would have done if I got out of the car. With the mood I was in who knows. I would have at least gotten one good shot at him. Then the other day my older niece ask me to help her get her stuff out of her mother's new house. She is marrying a guy that my niece's hate. He is a nasty guy and they don't like him. My younger niece lives here with us because of him. My older niece just got her own place and so I told her I would take her as long as it was early in the morning while her mother and the boyfriend were at work. We get there at 11am and sure enough the boyfriend is home. I got cursed out and charged at by this great big piece of white trash and the names I was called, holy you know what. Well I have to say that if I wasn't looking to adopt again, I would have taken a bat to his head. I mean come on people, do I have a sign on me anywhere that reads "Come on down and treat me like &^*%?" No I don't think so. I have to say that the things that were flying out of my mouth were just as bad at this point and I didn't care at all. This pig and that is what he is, was like a crazy man. He was saying some nasty things to my niece and I really wanted to hurt this guy. Needless to say, he threw out the rest of her stuff on the street and I had to go back to get it all before it rained. I have a friend that lives out there and she drove by and saw it all. It is an hour drive each way. My ex sister in law took his side and not her daughters. My ex sister in law married this guy yesterday (Sunday). My younger niece went but the older one did not. When the ex came to pick up my younger niece Saturday, she pulls in front of my house in front of my kids and gives me the finger. Can you believe the nerve? She tells me to go and F myself. She was no good from day one, but my brother got 2 beautiful girls out of it and for that I am thankful. I wish her luck, because that thing she married will do her harm one day for sure. I hope I am around to see it. I can't wait for June 2008 to be over.

I hope the next 6 months are better for us. I don't think I could take any more . I would like to wish all the families that are waiting to go and bring their children home and the families that have their children home all the best. I hope one day it will be us again.

Heartache

We are no longer able to adopt our sweet boy Jack.

I have posted to his blog if you care to read what happened. Here is the link...

http://www.ourjourney2jack.blogspot.com/

A Sad Day

Today is a sad day in my home. Ayanna, the sweet baby girl we were hosting has left our home to be placed in another Host Family home. We have had Ayanna for 5 weeks and I truly love this baby with all my heart, but having her here has affected my family in so many ways.

LilyRose has taken it the hardest. She is so jealous and she started to act out in ways that floored me. I tried to spend as much time with her as I could in the last 5 weeks, but when she saw me with the baby it flipped her out. My son Joseph didn't mind Ayanna being here, it just bothered him that I didn't spend time with him that much anymore. Normally, we would do his homework together and I would go to his baseball games and that kinda changed. Ayanna was always up around the time he would do his homework and with the crazy weather we have been having I would not take her to the field so Anthony would take Joe and LilyRose so that I could catch up on some sleep while Ayanna slept. Anthony tried to deal with it as best he could too. My husband gets up at 4:30 am every morning to go to work. Ayanna had her days and nights mixed up for a long while. I finally got that fixed and she got sick. She had the worst cold and ear infection so we were back to no sleep at night. My mother helped out alot with Ayanna. She is so in love with this little baby and really wanted to adopt her. I am just sleep deprived and really can't function anymore.

Ayanna was suppose to be placed with her adopted family a few times and then the birth mother would change her mind at the last minute. Her birth mother really wanted to parent her but she couldn't get anyone to help her. I really don't know what will happen to Ayanna now. They knew my family was having a hard time and so they found another host family to care for Ayanna until she is placed in her permanent home. So, this morning at 8:15 am they came to take Ayanna to her new home. I have never cried so hard in my life. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I mean I just handed her over. I am the only "mother" she has ever known and I just handed her over because we, as a family couldn't handle it. What kind of person am I? I hate myself right now. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I dropped the ball so to speak. I thought I was doing a good thing here. I never in my wildest dreams thought I couldn't handle it. I will never forgive myself for not seeing this beautiful child through to her new home.

You know, I can't even write anymore. I just want to go and sort through my feelings and my thoughts. I need to rest my broken heart. Please pray for baby Ayanna.

Happy Belated Mother's Day To You All

My Mother's Day present (mine is not engraved yet I took photo from Things Remembered)

I hope you all enjoyed your Mother's Day. I was sick in bed. A Mother's Day present from our host baby Ayanna. I still had a great day though. Ayanna goes back to her birth mother on Friday. I am sure I will be in bed for this weekend to. But can anyone says the word EXHAUSTED!!!!!!!!!!! I haven't slept in about a month. I am so tired. I am to old for an infant. lol Her days and nights are still mixed up, better but not great. LilyRose is so not happy that Ayanna is here. I thought by now she would be ok with it, but no. It has been a hard time for my family here the last month, but, god, do I love this little girl. She is the cutest little thing you ever wanted to see. I will miss her everyday for the rest of my life. I know that we will not have contact with her again after Friday and that hurts even more. I would so love to at least get a picture of her once a year. I would be happy with that, but it won't happen.

I will not be hosting another baby anytime soon, as we just got our official referral for Jack. I filled out our paperwork for the I600 over the weekend and I hope I did it right. I was so sick, I couldn't keep my head up for very long. But I sent it to our agency yesterday and hopefully it will go on from there this week. Keep your fingers crossed. I posted pictures of our Jack on his blog. If you would like to take a peek look for his link on the right and drop by. We are hoping to travel before September, but that doesn't look like it will happen. We can't wait for Jack to be home with his new FOREVER FAMILY!!!!!!

I have to get pictures of LilyRose up. I still haven't even sent her Christening Thank Yous yet. I am horrible lately, but I am just so tired.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are now A Host Family

A woman that worked for our previous agency when we adopted LilyRose is now working for Spence-Chapin in NYC. She called me a few weeks ago and asked if we would consider being a "Host Family" "Yes, we would love to I said". So we sent our paperwork over to them and thought it would take a few months, but no, that wasn't the case since we have all of our clearances. We got a call on Wednesday morning asking how soon we could take a baby in? I said "how soon do you need us to?" 4pm today was the answer. So as of 4:30pm on Wednesday April 16th, we have a newborn in our home. She is the cutest little peanut ever. It's actually called "Boarding Parents" The birth mothers have up until 30 days to decide if they would like to parent the child or put them up for adoption. We are in no way able to adopt these children at all. The birth mother has already chosen an adopted family. Everyone thinks I am nuts. "Aren't you going to get attached to this baby?" "How are you going to give this baby up when the time comes?". My answer to these questions are this, "Yes, I am attached to this baby already. She is with me 24/7. My arms ache when I am not holding her." "But, if and when the time comes that her birth mother wants her back, or decides that she will place her for adoption, I will give her back." If her birth mother wants her then that is truly the best place for her to be. I am sure this BM is a young girl who is scared out of her mind and needed just a little more time to get comfortable with the idea she is a mother now. If she decides that she will put this child up for adoption, then I will hand over this child to a woman who never had the pleasure of being pregnant and giving birth. She will know the greatest joy in life, becoming a mother. I have experienced that joy 2 ways. Giving birth and adoption. Then when this sweet child leaves my home, I will go into my room and cry. Yes, I will mourn and I will never forget her. But I feel that I am giving this child a safe and happy, healthy start in this life. For the short amount of time that she is here with us, she will be loved and held and snuggled and loved some more. She is a beautiful baby and I hope she has a wonderful life.

I am hoping that those of you that read this and think you might like to be a Host Family and you live in the NY area, please call Spence-Chapin. They are in major need of Host Families. Please, won't you open your home and hearts to these innocent babies and help give them a loving start in life? If you want more info feel free to email me. I really hope someone will call or email.

Just saying hello

I can't believe it's been this long since I posted here. So many things have been going on. First off, we finally Baptised LilyRose on March 30th and she looked beautiful. It was a very small gathering and I am sure lots of people will be mad at me, but with Jack's adoption things are very tight right now and that's why I kept it super small. I planned it in a short time as I wanted my brother to be here for it. I will post pictures as soon as I figure out how to use my new computer. Yes, that's right, I am posting this from a brand new laptop. A gift from my brother.

Isn't he a great brother?!?!!!! Unfortunately, Ralph went back to Iraq on Monday night. Even though he is a pain in the ass sometimes, it is super hard watching him leave. He will be home for good in October of this year. 6 months isn't really a long time away, but for us it seems like an eternity. I can't wait for the day I pick him up at the airport for the last time. That will be a great day for all of us.

LilyRose is doing great. She talks up a storm and 90% of the time it is loud and clear. She's funny, cute and sometimes very shy. Other times she is like a social butterfly. She has the biggest crush on my niece's boyfriend. When he walks through the door she gets this look on her face and just floats into his arms. I think it's the cutest thing ever, my husband on the other hand holds his heart and cringes. Joseph is doing great also. He made the Travel Team (baseball) He beat out some 10 year olds and is super proud of himself. Their uniforms this year are awesome looking. He looks so grown up out on the field. He had his first double header on Sunday. It was really cold out so I didn't make it to the field this time around. Anthony said he did really well, although he got hit by a pitch and his arm was swollen and bruised. He made sure he showed everyone that came to the house on Sunday.

So other then my brother leaving and that our adoption of Jack is killing me, things are good here. My children are great and that makes life worth living.

Happy Easter

Just wanted to wish everyone a belated Happy Easter. Both my kids were really sick. LilyRose more so then Joseph. This was LilyRose's first cold since we have her. We went to Church and in the middle of the service she started to burn up. She was really bad, so we had to leave. When we got home, I put her pj's on and gave her medicine and she slept on and off most of the day. We did not get one picture of her in her dress or any of Joseph for that matter. Maybe when she feels better, I will dress them up and get a few pictures.

I am sorry that I have not posted much, but our adoption of Jack Anthony is not going so good and I am just preoccupied with what is happening. Hope to get back on track soon.

Video of Ribbon Dance

Ok, this was really funny to see in person. The video didn't come out as clear as I had hoped it would. Before the music started, my mother kept asking "Where's the music" the lady who was doing this was bugging out with her. She kept saying " in a minute". well my mother can't hear to well and kept asking her the same thing. The lady just ignored her after a while. I wish I got that on video. When the dance was over, the lady asked my mother to say something in Chinese and my mother did. We still have no idea what she said. The lady must have made her say something on the lines of "I am a crazy, annoying lady" lol

For all of you who do know my mother, you could just imagine what she is saying throughout this whole thing. Whatever you THINK she is saying, SHE IS!!!! For all that don't know my mother, you don't want to know what she was saying. LOL LOL she really is a very funny lady.

Oh, BTW, she is all the way in the back on the left next to Joseph and Anthony. Everyone did really well. My niece Christina (in the front) did a great job. Check out LilyRose, she moves like a pro.

FCC-LI Chinese New Year Party

Sunday was the FCC-LI CNY Party at Stony Brook College.

We had a great time. My mother and my 2 nieces came with us and it was a great family day. LilyRose had a great time and so did Joseph. He spent the entire day running crazy with his friend Brenden. Joseph is part of the FCC-LI Youth Group and they made Chocolate to sell and Anthony spent most of Saturday baking Brownies and Chocolate Chip Cookies for the bake sale. He did really well. All his brownies sold. Joseph had to sell the goods at the party. I didn't think he would do it, but he surprised me and walked around the rooms to sell. He did a great job. I won a Ladybug Basket for LilyRose. The reason I tried to win this basket was the fact it had a Lily Ladybug Flashlight in it. I couldn't believe I won it. It had some really cute ladybug things in it.

My niece's had a good time also. My older niece Christina got up on stage for some of the shows and she did a Ribbon Dance along with my mother and Anthony and Joseph and Lily. I have it on video and just watching my mother is the funniest thing ever. It didn't come out as clear as I would have liked but for all that know my mother, you will get a kick out of it. Joseph got up on stage a few times too. My niece Daniella sat with me. We didn't get up on stage for any of it. TOO SHY!!!!!

I am glad we went and cannot wait until next year. I am looking forward to the next gathering with our FCC-LI Family.

LilyRose is home 1 year today

HOME ALMOST 1 YEAR TO THE DAY


HOME 4 DAYS

Can you believe it? We can't.

It seems like LilyRose has always been here with us. I remember walking in the door and my mother burst into tears when she saw her new granddaughter. I also remember LilyRose not wanting anything to do with her. It took her almost a week to warm up to my mother. Looking at them now, you would never believe it. She loves her "mamma". She looks so very different from a year ago. She has grown in so many ways. LilyRose has bought so much joy and love to us.

We could not imagine our world without her.

1 Year Ago Today

NOW

THEN

Today we celebrated 1 year with LilyRose.

I can't believe a whole year has passed. It seems like yesterday that we arrived in China not knowing what to expect. Is our daughter deaf? Is she sick? How bad will she grieve? Will we make her happy? I woke up this morning and I remembered all those feelings I had 1 year ago. It was crazy. I went into LilyRose's room and just watched her sleep for a while, like we did in China when we first got her. We just sat and watched her. I thought about her aunty today too. That poor woman cried when we walked into the office. She knew that she would never see her "baby" again. I wonder if she thinks of LilyRose sometimes? I sure think of her. I hope she didn't hurt too much when she left Lilyrose behind on that beautiful, sunny day a year ago. What was most likely one of the worst days of her life, was one of the best days of mine. I also thought of her bio mother, does she know that her daughter is safe, healthy and happy? Does she wonder where she lives and what she looks like? I can't imagine what she must feel.

So, yes, today is a very happy day for our family, but I still feel some sadness for the 2 other women that loved our daughter.

Update

I am so sorry that I have not posted in a while. Anthony is home and doing really well. He came home on Saturday, January 20th. We thought at one point while he was still in the hospital that he would have to have another surgery, but thank god he didn't need it. They still have no idea what happened to him. The surgeon said it was a very aggressive infection and they were just happy that they caught it before it turned fatal.

The kids were so happy to have him home. I was happy too because I didn't have to drive to the hospital 2 times a day. lol Also because my Christmas Lights were finally taken down. That was one of the last things I said to Anthony before he went into surgery. "You better hurry up home, because the Christmas stuff is still on the outside of the house and it's embarrassing". The Dr. was cracking up.

The hole in his neck is closing nicely and the Dr. said he can go back to work on Monday. I told him I wasn't happy with him going into NYC especially since the hole is still open and his immune system is not that strong right now. Thank God his boss said he can go to a job that is starting on Wednesday right here in Long Island. He can drive there and it's not hard labor. So he will go back to work on Wednesday. We are in a little trouble here as he has not gotten paid in 4 weeks. Our adoption is on hold because of it. I need to take care of here first before we can proceed with the adoption. It breaks my heart that Jack knows we are coming and now it will take us so much longer to get him home, but I have to thank some people for donating. We got 3 Chip In donations and a few checks to the PO Box. So hold on Jack, were coming!!!!

Well, Wednesday I turned 43. I can't believe I am that old. I was looking in the mirror that day and I almost fell over. Damn, I look 43. So SCARY!!!!!! But it was a nice day. My husband was home and my kids were here, my niece's were here and some of my family even came over. I really didn't want anything, but my mother insisted that we have to have cake and coffee. My brother called from Iraq and I felt so bad because he was really sick and it was 4:45am there when he called. He said that he set his alarm so that he wouldn't miss calling me. I have an awesome family.

I would like to thank each and everyone of you that left a comment for my husband. It meant so very much to us.

Say a Prayer for Anthony

I am asking for prayers for my husband Anthony. He had emergency throat surgery on Friday night. It started last Sunday night. He said he had a sore throat. He had been working so much overtime since Nov. to come up with the money for Jacks adoption, that we just thought he was run down. Monday he went to work and when he got home he looked sick. Tuesday he didn't go to work, if you know Anthony, that never happens, so he went to the Dr.'s and called me and said that he had an abscess in his throat and had to have it drained. So they sent him to an ENT and he came home and went to bed. Then on Wed. he went back and they drained it again. I told him to go to the hospital because he didn't look so good, but he refused. Wednesday night he came down just long enough to watch Joseph blow out his candles. My whole family was shocked and told him to go to the hospital. He didn't go. Thursday he was in bed all day and night but his neck looked like it was swollen. Friday morning he woke up and his neck was 10x's the normal size and his eyes were popping out of his head. So, my brother rushed him to the hospital up the road from us.

In the meantime, my brother was going back to Iraq on Friday afternoon. So I drove him to the airport with his kids and again, watched him walk away to go back. My head was reeling. When I called the hospital, Anthony said they had him on heavy antibiotics and that he would be home soon. I get home from the airport and an hour later I get a call from Anthony that they are moving him to another hospital because he needs major surgery. I race to that hospital and the Dr. told me that if he would have waited another day or 2 he would have died. He had puss traveling to his brain and his heart. WHAT?!?!? How could this be happening? I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. So I go home and get my kids situated and I drive to this other hospital and they wouldn't let me in to see him before the surgery. Well, thank god I am a nasty ass because they DID LET ME IN!!!. They held him up for the surgery because he didn't have his insurance card. They wouldn't take the paperwork from the other hospital. He sat in the ER for 2 hours with no IV's because he didn't have his card. Freaked me out. The surgeon explained the procedure to us and they said they would have to do a Tracheotomy on him also. They said the procedure could be very dangerous. So off he went and I just sat and waited. Anthony's cousin came to sit with me. I finally got to see him and he looked good considering. He didn't have as much puss as they thought, but he had a lot of gas pockets throughout his neck. So he has 2 draining tubes and a trach tube. He will be in the hospital for a week and then we are not sure what the home recovery will be like. He thinks he's going back to work next week. Not happening. So our life is on hold for now.

So if you would just say a prayer for him to get better and for us to hang in I would really appreciate it.

Happy Birthday Joseph

HAPPY 9TH BIRTHDAY JOSEPH !!!!!!!!

Well, Joseph turns 9 today and of course he woke up ON HIS OWN today (lol) and wanted his presents. So sorry Joe, but you have to wait until tonight when everyone is here and we finish having cake and coffee. You had to see his face when I said this. It was priceless. I wish I had my camera on hand. I will post more tonight after the party.

Happy New Year

Panda pj's (I love them)


Matching pj's (look at Lily's hair)



My Family

I hope everyone had a wonderful Holiday and a Happy New Year!!!!

I haven't been able to post in so long. With my brother being home from Iraq and the Holidays and the kids being off from school, I haven't had time to do anything. Now that school is back in full swing, I have time to post. Our Christmas was fantastic. It was awesome having my brother and nieces here with us. LilyRose had the best first Christmas. Joseph made out like a bandit and my husband will have to get 3 more jobs. lol

I can't believe that the holidays are over and we are in a new year. WOW, we are home with LilyRose almost a year now. Where has the time gone? It feels like yesterday that we started the process for her. I have some pictures from Christmas, I hope you enjoy. I will write more later...