Mixed Emotions

I just felt like writing tonight. I have very mixed emotions, we did not get TA today like I was hoping too. There were a lot of families that did receive TA today. I think 3 or 4 families are going to Chenzhou, which is were Lily Rose lives. My heart hurts because we were not one of them. Don't get me wrong, I am overjoyed for all the families that have received TA this last week. You would have to be heartless not to be happy for them, but everyone who is involved with International Adoption knows what I am talking about and knows exactly how I feel. What scares me the most is that the Consulate appointments are filling up for January and if we don't get to travel by Feb. 1, we will have to wait until March. Which will just be horrible. The worst part about it, is that there is NOTHING we can do about it. Not one thing. So, I won't go on and on about it. I'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings....